Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The 10 Reasons That I Am Always Late

First off, let me begin by saying that I hate being late. Like I really hate it, walking into class 20 mins late sucks for so many reasons. The Prof looks at you funny, there aren't any good seats left, and you miss almost half the class. This wouldn't be that bad if it was once in a while, but it's surprisingly often. And the funny thing is, it's almost never actually my fault! There is always something or someone that I can shift the blame to. Is it wrong, maybe, but hey it works.
10. Midterms/finals
I can’t remember how many times I have walked into a midterm or a final after everyone has started writing. Though I think it actually helps my exam marks. I think standing around waiting for the exam worrying if I studied enough is detrimental to my marks. I’d rather just get to the exam and write what I know with a clear mind. The other reason exams make me late is because of the way I study for them... It is normally the night before, till late, while in front of my computer, which means the studying that should have taken me 4 hours takes me about 8 because of the time i've wasted on the internet.
"The Internet"
9. The Internet
Or the Interweb as I like to call it. This is a great invention, but should be turned off from 11 pm to 6 am Sunday to Thursday.. Unless you have a paper to write, in which case you get a special code so you can turn it back on. Though, it would be hard to control this, since the first W in WWW is World... Maybe I just need to learn to pry myself away from the bright glow of my monitor and move off into the darkness to sleep.
8. Netflix
If I am lucky enough to stop browsing the internet, I still have the ever present Netflix. I’ve had Netflix since about a month after it came out in Canada, and have loved it ever since. It has more than paid for itself since. In 3 months I have watched about 237 Movies or TV shows... Now that I have actually tallied them, that’s quite a lot... This means that right now, with the $8 a month it costs, that works out to about 10 cents per show or movie. Try beating that on cheap night at empire theatres! (Tonight by the way.)
7. TV
Netflix is bad for keeping me up and making me late, but when you watch it you get 100% satisfaction with no distraction. And I think it works out to be fairly efficient. However, with Television you get about 2/3 satisfaction and 1/3 distraction. And most of the distraction is portly men with high blood pressure shouting about the deals they can give you on a second hand car in Rochester, NY. Trust me guys, I don’t want what you are selling. The great thing about TV though, is that there is nothing on most of the time, unless you're trying to do an Assignment that is then everything on TV is amazing.
6. Assignments
A good portion of the reason that I am late is because I've been working on an assignment. I'm late after this because I procrastinate with the best of them (in fact, I am using this blog to procrastinate an assignment right now!) So I leave them till the last minute, so they end up taking longer so I am up till 2 am and then I want to maximize my sleep time by hitting the snooze button.
Pure Evil
5. The snooze button
Possibly the worst invention in the history of time, the sleep button is the number five reason that I am always late. Though if truth be known it should probably be higher. The snooze button is the bane of my existence, it causes bad math and excessive rushing. I find myself squinting at the clock and trying to estimate how long it takes to shower/dress/pack/get to school and also how much more sleep I can get. This leads to me having 30 seconds to do all of the tasks listed above, and hence makes me rush but still be late. Mr. Snooze, I do not approve of your invention, especially when my alarm rings on the weekend and I can’t remember how to turn it off and end up hitting snooze 10 times before waking up with a snooze induced headache. Thumbs down, Mr. Snooze... Thumbs down.
4. Steve
Steve... Steve, Steve, Steve. The last few weeks my friend Steve has been lagging. I end up waiting in the morning... Waiting at lunch, waiting at class, waiting waiting waiting. Occasionally he waits for me, though even if I have a massive bias, I’m sure it’s not 50/50. Also, he doesn't have a blog to complain about me yet, so I guess I can say what i want! Hopefully he'll be on time for breakfast tomorrow after he reads this tonight!
Steve Jobs, with the iPad
3. iPad
The Apple iPad is great, I’ve had my first generation iPad since day one. The day I got it, I jumped out of bed and ran down to the Halifax Mac Store to claim mine, and there wasn’t really a line... I was pumped anyway. Some say that buying first gen Apple products is a bad idea, but I say: “I have an iPad... You don’t” to that, since that’s my view it follows right along that I use it quite a bit... It’s just so handy, though sometimes I do briefly miss flash... I’m sure it’s for the best though, right Mr. Jobs?
2. Lack of motivation
Lack of motivation is the worst feeling in the world. And it contributes to a lot of lateness. The two times it strikes hardest are in the morning and at night. The morning is bad, because the lack of motivation (or LOM) means that you just don't get up and end up sleeping more, or dragging your feet to class meaning, you guessed it, late again. The ugly cousin of LOM in the morning is LOM at night. At night it keeps you on the couch watching TV or iPadding when there is homework to be done.. It can even stop you going to bed, this is when LOM is at it's worst... Not even having the motivation to go to bed! Really? Sucky.
1. No Reason
However all these reasons skate around the worst reason for lateness... I am late for practically no reason whatsoever 50% of the time. I simply blame things, I know Andrea will agree. And when there isn't anything obvious to blame, I still manage to find something to blame and make if fit. Like a Solar eclipse or the war in Iraq. Try it next time you're late... You might find it works!

1 comment:

  1. LOL ADAM.
    Some say that buying first gen Apple products is a bad idea, but I say: “I have an iPad... You don’t” to that
    seriously best line on your blog.

    #1 fan forever